Joke Of The Day – The Party Invitation to a Christmas Party…

Tom had been in business for 25 years and was finally sick of the stress. He quit his job and bought 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He saw the postman once a week and got groceries once a month. 

Otherwise, it was total peace and quiet. After six months or so of total isolation, someone knocked on his door. He opened it and there was a huge, bearded man standing there:

“Name’s Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come… about 5:00.”

“Great,” says Tom, “after six months out here I’m ready to meet some local folks. Thank you!”

As Lars is leaving, he stops. “Gotta warn you … There’s gonna be some drinkin’.”

“I can drink with the best of ‘em.” Again, as he starts to leave, Lars stops.

“More ‘n likely gonna be some fightin’ too.”

Tom says, “Well, I get along with people, I’ll be alright. I’ll be there. Thanks again.”

Once again Lars turns from the door. “More ‘n likely be some wild sex, too.”

“Now that’s really not a problem,” says Tom, warming to the idea. “I’ve been all alone for six months! 

I’ll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?”

Lars stops in the door again and says, “Whatever you want. Just gonna be the two of us.”

Prostate Exam…Thai Style……

After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test on the National Health Service,

a friend of mine decided to have his next test carried out while visiting in Thailand where the beautiful nurses are

rather more gentle and accommodating.

As usual he was asked to strip off, he lay naked on his side on the bed and the nurse began the examination.

“At this stage of the procedure it’s quite normal to get an erection” said the nurse.

“I haven’t got an erection” said the man.

“No, but I have” replied the nurse.

McDonalds seems to now be targeting the Gay Market…….."BAD TASTE WARNING!!!"

Funny Cartoon for the Day…. Bob & Steve noticed….

Click on Picture To Enlarge….

 

Today’s Rude Cartoon – ‘Warning – Gay Nudist Beach!……… (Click On Twice to Enlarge)

ELTON JOHN’S AND DAVID’S BABY…….

They had their sperm mixed together and a surrogate mother was artificially inseminated.

When the baby was born Elton and David were ushered into a ward where a dozen babies were lying in their cots, eleven of them crying and screaming.

In the corner, one baby was lying serenely. A nurse came over to both of them and indicated that the happy child was theirs.

“Isn’t it wonderful?” Elton asked David. “All these crying babies…and yet our baby is so content. This just proves the superiority of gay love!

“The nurse said, “Oh sure, he’s happy now, but just watch what happens when I pull the dummy out of his arse….”

Camila’s Shoes – Warning 100% NOT Politically Correct & For ADULTS eyes ONLY!

Camilla bought a new pair of shoes for her wedding which got increasingly tight as the day went on. That night, after the festivities were finally over, she & Charles retired back to their room.

Camilla flopped on the bed and said ‘Please remove my shoes darling, one’s feet are killing one.’
Ever obedient, the Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigour. But It wouldn’t budge.

‘Harder!’ yelled Camilla.

‘Harder?’ Charles yelled back. ‘I’m trying darling! But it’s just so bloody tight!’

‘Come on give it all you’ve got, ‘ she cried.

Finally when it released, Charles let out a big groan, and Camilla exclaimed, ‘Oh god, that feels so good !’

In their bedroom next door, the Queen turned to Prince Phillip and said, ‘See, I told you she would still be a virgin with a face like that.’

Meanwhile back in the other bedroom, Charles was attempting to remove the other shoe when he cried out, ‘Oh god, darling, this one’s even tighter.’
At which point Prince Phillip turned and said to the Queen: ‘That’s my boy; once a navy man, always a navy man!’

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